Sad About Being Mad About Being Sad

by Joe MacLeod

Last week in another space—but I will recap here, like with the garbagio TV shows—I wrote about how I was sad because our cat is dead. I figured that as I was coming out of the sadness, I had shifted to a generally bad mood, on my way to being angry, I guess, on that graph of how you feel when you are grieving? I guess I expected things to move along quicker because my cat was a cat, and not a person? 

Here’s a thing I put on my Instagram about our cat:

This weekend we had to say goodbye to our wonderful kitty GG, also known as Muppet, a/k/a Boobas, a/k/a Pantaloons, a/k/a Lucky, a/ka at least five other names. GG was the sweetest, most soulful fluffball we have ever had the pleasure to know, and she lived with us for the past seven years out of her 14. GG always made us laugh, never asked for much, and attended every family meeting whether or not she was invited. Some of you have heard me say that GG—named after Greta Garbo—was the last living being to see my mom Jessica alive, and I have always believed part of Jessica's spirit was sharing space behind GG's beautiful eyes and penetrating gaze. So, an extra part of seeing GG float away is that connection to my mom, who took her in from a heartbreakingly abusive situation, to keep her safe for years, and when my mom passed, GG mourned her, it was sad. Eventually she came out of her shell and became a happy, delightful energy in our home, and Wendy and I will see her shadowy spirit out of the corner of our eye in certain spots in the house for awhile, and be missing her. I see GG and Jessica together in Time, my mom with a newspaper and a cuppa coffee, and GG tucked away, purring on her lap.

I also broke my resealable soup mug the first day I brought it to my new job, and that made me sad and then immediately angry. Here’s a recap of that: