Are You Ready For Grilling and Quiet Existential Panic Season?

by Emily Flake

A panicking bbq-er, wearing shorts, a t-shirt and an apron, and clutching a steel spatula, stands before a smoking Weber type grill; a fiery mushroom cloud in the form of a chef's toque explodes above his hapless head
Illustration by Emily Flake

Summer’s here, and it’s time to fire up the grill! Make sure you’re ready for the best and possibly last grilling season of your life with this handy checklist! 

Sturdy tongs. Nothing’s more heartbreaking than a choice protein falling apart on the grill due to inadequate grasping tools. “‘Son,’ my daddy used to say, ‘a man's reach must not exceed his grasp.’ You want tongs that are well-made, long enough to keep you from getting burned, and tipped with silicone to protect you from the heat and your grillables from getting misshapen. Your foodstuffs are under your control now. Don’t you ever wonder what it will be like when grocery stores have ceased to exist?

Grilling basket. Onions, asparagus, bell peppers, you name it—veggies and fish are a snap in a grill basket. Gather your favorites right from your garden and toss them in the basket for a beautifully even char! Do you have a vegetable garden? We tried growing some stuff during the worst of the pandemic and honestly I think I grew about a salad and a half worth of food. Plus somebody stole my radishes, could have been a person, could have been a squirrel. Either way, I do NOT have a green thumb or kind neighbors. How long do canned goods really stay good for, and is it bad to store them in a damp basement?

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