CHOOSE YOUR OWN ADVENTURE, Middle-Age Edition
by Emily Flake
After an extremely difficult week, you are exhausted and desperate enough to explore a form of self-care beyond your usual dirtbag method of doomscrolling on the toilet. You do some research, and book something called a “head spa,” reasoning that having somebody massage your face and wash your hair sounds really nice, actually. You get to the spa and position yourself on the treatment bench. As your technician begins gliding her hands over your knot-filled jaw, you hear a family enter.
They are not using their inside voices. The mother arranges her own treatment. The father lets the child watch TV on his iPad. Without headphones.
DO YOU:
- Use your outside voice to holler “buddy, you ever hear of headphones? Come on!”
- Worry that this will alarm the woman gently stroking your face and possibly make *you* the bad guy for making a scene, and decide to keep your mouth shut?
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