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Five Things I Found Funny While My Childhood Cat Was Dying

by Amy Chu

A cat blithely smoking a cigarette and a girl in a striped shirt looks on, lovestruc
5 Things I Found Funny While My Childhood Cat Was Dying [IMAGE of faces of a weeping girl and a round-faced older cat]
1. Because I was sleeping on the couch and spoonfeeding my cat food, water, medicine, and carrying him to the litterbox, I told people I was a 24/7 CAT NURSE, which would easily conjure sexy imagery such as this: [IMAGE of blushing loli girl in nurse’s outfit with puffed sleeves, a tail, and kittycat ears; on her nurse’s hat is the image of a cat. She is addressing a small black and white cat with a thermometer in his mouth, he is also blushing. She says, YOUR TEMPERATURE LOOKS A TAD HIGH, THOMAS-SAN.]
When it really looked like this: [IMAGE 1 A stricken girl begging a small sickly cat: PLEASE DRINK.] [IMAGE 2 Same girl, weeping, to sleeping cat: PLEASE POOP.] [IMAGE 3 Same girl, overcome with tears, to cat, now awake: PLEASE EAT. THE VET SAYS WE SHOULD PUT YOU DOWN IF YOU STOP.]

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Amy Chu
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