Uneasy With the Crown
by Joe MacLeod
TRIGGER WARNING FOR GRAPHIC DESCRIPTIONS OF DENTISTRY AND IMPLICATIONS OF TORTURE
Right up front, I think I have a really good dentist. I have never found a reason to complain about anything to do with my current dental care beyond my shitty dental insurance. This week I had to go to my dentist, because the last time I went, for my checkup, and cleaning, and on-purpose fluoride treatment, where I had ‘em put that stuff all over my teeth, the dentist took a look at a molar all the way back in the cheap seats of my mouth and said that it was super decayed and needed to get yanked.
I found this news to be irritating. I have spent a lot of dough on this particular molar, namely, a root canal procedure, where they drill out all the rotten parts and then pack it with inert material and top it off with a crown. A gold crown, which has fallen out twice, and I had to go and get it glued back into my head, but both times it happened I was doing something ill-advised. I can’t remember what happened the second time, but the first time I was eating some of those “French Peanuts, or “Burnt Peanuts,” whatever they call ‘em, they are super-hard, like Corn Nuts®, it’s like eating poker chips. I was eating some French, or Burnt, Peanuts, and torqued down on one with my gold-topped molar and the crown popped off, so I take full responsibility for dislodging my appliance. FYI they are “French Burnt Peanuts” according to this nut merchant.
Fresh Spanish peanuts covered in a red candy shell. Sure to please any old timer or new timer as well. Kosher. Product of USA.
Wow, so they are more specifically French Burnt [Spanish] Peanuts. Also, come to think of it, I was totally eating Corn Nuts® the other time, what a dumbass.
Anyway, so now this tooth is beyond repair, and for your information, I have been told by all of my dental hygienists that examinations of my teeth tell the tale: I perform excellent “home care,” which for me means I brush my teeth twice a day and floss now and then, that’s my home care, and it has been rated “excellent.” I ended up with this rotten tooth, and so I went in to get it removed, and it was not the greatest experience in the world, but it wasn’t really painful as much as uncomfortable, and now there’s a stitched-up spot covering up a bone graft, which is to provide a built-up platform to sink in a new and improved implant-tooth. Also, out-of-pocket, they removed about $300 from me, but then there will be the whole comedy of what the insurance will cover and how much I’ll be on the hook for later.
A lot of people get freaked out by getting dental work done, and it’s easy to see why. You are pretty much guaranteed some sort of pain. I always schedule any dentist stuff for early in the morning, when you feel pain the least because you’re not 100 awake yet. Also, I make sure to keep my eyes open the whole time, because it distracts from the discomfort. Furthermore, I think I have a good dentist who really does attempt to cause the least pain. I read a thing once about how dentists have a high suicide rate because a lot of people hate and fear them and I looked it up and it’s not clear. Here is some stuff from VICE.
Keep us breathing fire!
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