Wagers I'll Make

by Hamilton Nolan

Those Krispy Kreme donuts are tasty. But I’ll bet that behind the scenes, things aren't as straightforward they seem. I’ll bet that if you got into the back room, you’d be in for a surprise. I’ll bet that there’s not anyone pouring the glaze onto those donuts at all. I’ll bet it’s just some sort of machine that does it. 

I’ll bet that those donuts aren’t “hand made” at all. Those circles are a little too perfect. I’ll bet that there’s some sort of metal piece that they press down on the dough that makes them all the same size. 

I’ll bet that the lemon-filled donuts don’t have any lemon in them at all. I’ll bet that the lemon pudding is artificially flavored. I’ll bet that if you took that stuff to a lab and had the scientists analyze it, they wouldn’t find any fruit in there. I’ll bet it would just be a bunch of chemicals you’ve never even heard of. 

I’ll bet that the cream they put in the donuts isn’t whipped up by some cheerful lady with a big wooden spoon. I’ll bet you’d never see that in the kitchen. I’ll bet that the cream comes into the store already whipped. I’ll bet that it comes in boxes on a big loud truck. I’ll bet the cream is in big plastic bags inside the boxes and it doesn’t even have to be in the refrigerator. I’ll bet that those bags of cream just sit in some dusty store room for a long time, underneath some old rags. Later they put that right into your donut, I’ll bet.